The relationship between what exists of the unseen
and the images that are created in one's mind
the like and dislike-ness of an image; the obscure, the observance,
the 'is' and 'isn't' between the possibilities of an image
how an image's "reality" is forced elsewhere, for psychological means.
Distant memories. Anti-photography as a kind of "what if"?

Friday, February 25, 2011

What we want before

... is never what we really need.

While I was surfing through the internet today, I came across tumblr tags for my college school. And since it's near the start of another school year, it's not surprising that the hash tag would be peppered with "i passed!", "got in!" & "no longer wait-listed! yes!" posts. I vividly remembered how it was for me when I applied.

I only took tests from three of the top schools. I thought I did well enough for all 3 of them so it came as a surprise that I never got in to any of the 3. I immediately felt crushed and panicked because I didn't really think of any other school to apply to, that was how confident I was that I'll get in on either 3. I mulled over this, felt anxious that I might not get in a good enough school that all my choices have turned me down already and dejectedly agreed to go with my mom to CSB's campus. It wasn't as recognized as an art school before although it was already in the precipice of being acknowledged as such (maybe that's why my mom urged me to go there in the first place, she knew I'd fit right in, I just didn't know it yet).

I was interested in writing back then. I participated in essay writing contests and wrote poems on a regular basis. So I was hoping to get into a journalism course. Imagine how lost I felt when I was standing in front of the school's office, studying the pamphlet and saw there was no writing course and the only other course that I could remotely relate to was a course I haven't heard of before. I cried right then and there. Ashamed that I'm applying at the tapunan school because I didn't pass anywhere else. My mom told me I'd be better off to take MMA (Multimedia Arts). After reading the description and telling myself I could always transfer after my 1st year if I didn't really like the course, I filled out an application and took my mom's advice.

Little did I know, getting rejected by the top 3 schools in the country was a blessing in disguise.

I blossomed under CSB. I was exposed to a lot of stuff and easily found out that MMA was the perfect course for me. I liked tinkering with Diaryland in High school so studying Web design and getting great feedback from my professors encouraged me to pursue designing for web. Not long after, I found out I didn't suck at making posters and digital design too. I pretty much hit the jackpot learning about design and art and having fun while doing so.

By the time I got my first job 2 months before I officially graduated, I couldn't imagine earning a living doing anything else.  I tried to picture myself graduating as a journalist and wondered where would I go. I would definitely be hired as an associate or assistant of someone for a newspaper, magazine or tv station and would have to work my way up the social/work ladder. Being a graduate of MMA, I was able to join a small firm with bosses who gave me creative freedom to do anything I deemed the job entails and having supportive colleagues who helped me enhance my skills even more.

I love my life right now. Standing here, recently stepped up on the corporate ladder working my 2nd job and feeling blessed.

The only thing I regret about my college experience is that I initially thought low of CSB and that I wasn't open enough to the idea of studying there on my first year. I am forever grateful for the 3 schools for turning their back to me because it opened my eyes that I can be so much more. That there's more I can do when words are coupled with strong images and graphics.