The relationship between what exists of the unseen
and the images that are created in one's mind
the like and dislike-ness of an image; the obscure, the observance,
the 'is' and 'isn't' between the possibilities of an image
how an image's "reality" is forced elsewhere, for psychological means.
Distant memories. Anti-photography as a kind of "what if"?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Ho Ho Ho, and everything in between

That's not a good way to keep promises, Lai. You said you'll keep up with this journal and what do you do? After a week you disappear.

Although, in my defense, it was a pretty busy week for me. What with the Christmas rush and the sudden onslaught of things-to-finish pounding rather loudly on my door, I had to put blogging aside. I admit I was tempted to put a little "what I did today" short post, a half-assed sad excuse for an entry just for the sake of it, but I literally had to stop myself from clicking the publish button. But I'm still not in the mood to actually blog about a recent dream I had, it feels too heavy for a time like this so I'll just keep it in the back of my head for now so I can talk about it later.

The holidays never fails to impress upon me how wonderful the year has been. I always end up all choked up with all the Christmas gatherings, having fun catching up with family and friends and overall being a celebration of relationships. This Christmas though, there are a few heartstrings that I have felt leaden with feelings opposite how I used to feel - carefree, love, glee, contentment - that I feel I cannot truly celebrate the holiday in full abandon. Unfortunate events, both unforeseen and expected have been weighing down on me more than it used to.

I have been searching and searching for ways on how to remove the burdens, but I have come to realize that removing all of it completely is unnecessary and selfish. Unnecessary because I don't need to solve everything all at once just in time for the holidays. To rush things would lend me half-baked peace of mind which no one can enjoy. And selfish because it is actually healthy to have a little bit of your life not as neat as you would want it to be. Everybody has stuff to deal with, everybody battles their own demons, who am I to demand for a clear and pure state of mind?

This holiday, I was given the gift of acceptance.

And with that, I leave you with a greeting, wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. Hope you enjoy your New Years too!

Let's all wish I will be able to produce a better entry before the year ends. On another note, I have put up little deers on my blog, they look so cute, no? I felt the need to dress the blog up just in time for the holidays. (even if I'm a month late in doing so)


  1. Merry Christmas! :)

    PS - Bow deer looks so frickin' adorable.

  2. Lai! Belated happy Christmas and happy new year!

    It's ok, it's quite inevitable not to update blogs since it was a busy season. Very cute greeting btw. :>

    May you have a great year ahead!